I'm really enjoying the comedy Amazon reviews at the moment; the ones for the 'Celtic Spirit Board (Ouija) are particularly brilliant:
'I purchased this item for my four year old daughter to assist with communication after her tongue was tragically pecked off by an angry swan in a freak duck feeding accident last year.
Firstly can I just say that I would recommend this to any parent hoping to improve thier child's literacy skills. Even at her young age, within a few minutes of using the board she was writing out her first message "The dark lord cometh". Naturally we interpreted this as a request to watch her favourite Harry Potter DVD and duly complied. Suffice to say, we were astounded by her use of vocabulary and correct spelling.
Little Ellie is a changed girl since receiving her Celtic Spirit Board, she plays with it for 16 hours a day and screams (albeit completely silently) when we try to take it away from her. Since the accident she had been so down in the dumps, but now her eyes light up with a horrific eternal fire that burns deep inside them.
Somewhat bizarrely, since receiving this item she has also excelled in her pre-school gymnastics team, being the only member who can jump a full 20 feet into the air, perform a triple somersault, rotate her head through 360 degrees and perform a perfect landing.
There is just one negative point I feel I should raise about this item. Since purchasing it we have found it increasingly difficult to find shoes to fit little Ellie as her toenails have dramatically thickened and merged to give her feet the appearance of hooves. I do however consider this a tiny price to pay for the dramatic difference this has made to my daughter's life.